Teach Your Children To Feel Good About Themselves
We've all seen people who treat failure as an
opportunity, not as defeat. We watch as they dust
themselves off and try again - with a smile on their
face! It may take two or three tries, but these
people eventually come out on top.
If we could teach this attitude to our
children, there is nothing they couldn't achieve. We
can teach them to treat failure as an
opportunity. And it's easy!
As we learn in lesson 3 of our
online parenting classes, when we teach our children
to feel good about themselves, we teach them how to
handle life's disappointments.
When they do things right, acknowledge it.
Find one or two things about what they did to
complement. Don't go overboard on the praise or they may
not believe you are sincere. Simply point out one or two
things that you liked about what they did.
Tell them they should be happy about their
accomplishment.
This is one trick that most parents miss. We want our
kids to learn to look to themselves for validation. We
do not want them doing things to make others happy. So
we include one simple sentence in our praise. "You must
be very proud of yourself." or "I'll bet you are happy
with your performance."
By including a simple sentence that guides them to feel
good, your children learn to look to themselves for
validation.
Acknowledge their mistakes - but don't dwell on them.
Be honest. If they tried something and failed,
acknowledge the failure, but point out at least one
thing they did right in their attempt. "Yes, the house
you built with blocks fell down, but I really liked the
colors you chose. Let's try again." or "I know your shoe
came untied, but I'll bet you are really proud of the
fact that you tied them all by yourself today!" or "Yes,
you did miss the game winning basket. but you should be
proud of the two three point shots you did make."
These three tips will go a long way in teaching your
children to look inside themselves for validation and to
shrug off the failures and try again.
Not only are you teaching your children to feel good
about themselves, you are strengthening your
relationship with them. Your children are seeing you as
a loving parent who truly cares how they feel. Even the
busiest parents can take a few seconds to teach their
children how to feel good about themselves.
The work you do while your children are small will make
a world of difference when they become teenagers. If
they view you as caring and supportive, they will
continue to trust you as they grow older. If they view
you as critical and unsupportive, they will look to
others to give advice when they reach their teens. Who
do you want to guide your teenager - you or your
teenager's friends.
Parenting is easier than most parents think.
