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Help Keep Your Divorce From Hurting Your Kids
Divorce is stressful. It includes guilt, grief and
heartache - not to mention anger and blame. Divorcing
parents are often so filled with emotions that they
forget how this is affecting their kids.
When children are very young, they simply do not have
the capacity to grasp what is going on. If their parents
choose to vent their emotions in front of the children,
or TO the children, the harm can be irrevocable.
Older children understand that the family is breaking
up. If you aren't paying close attention to them (and
many parents don't when they are buried in their own
emotions) it's easy to miss how lost they are feeling.
Their world is changing and that creates insecurity.
Now, more than ever, they need you to assure them that
this is a part of life and your love for them will never
change.
Children understand good and bad, and they will often
try to decide which parent is the good parent and which
parent is the bad parent. If you do not reassure them
and help them understand that they are not to blame, it
can leave behind deep scars that may never heal.
No matter what you feel about your ex, your kids should
be encouraged to maintain a child/parent relationship.
Never try to paint your ex as a villain. - At best, it
will backfire and your children will no longer trust
your judgment. At worst, it will create an insecure
child - with invisible scars - who will grow up never
knowing why they fail at relationships.
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