Some states require divorcing couples to file a parenting plan. Even if your state does not require a parenting plan, it is a good idea to develop at least a simple parenting plan.

Divorce is not the most damaging thing for children. It is the constant bickering and conflict that creates stress for your children. A parenting plan will ensure that your relationship after the divorce will be as stress free as possible.

Different states have different requirements dealing with parenting plans. You can find more information about what your state requires here: Parenting Classes by state.

A parenting plan removes the legal jargon and states, in plain English, how the parents will work together to create a parenting plan that is best for the children.

What To Include In Your Parenting Plan

The first thing you'll want to decide in your parenting plan is the children's residential. (Residential schedule is different from visitation)

• Which parent's home be considered the children's primary residence? Keep in mind that many parents successfully work out a parenting plan in which children do spend 50% of their time with each parent. Your parenting plan should include which residence is the primary residence.

• Will the residential schedule be the same every week of the month?

• Will there be alternating weekends?

Your parenting plan should include how you will schedule visitations.

• Will there be regular weekend visits? How often? For how long? From 5PM Friday to 5PM Sunday?

• Will there also be regular midweek visits? If so, how often? For how long?

• Working together, you can create a schedule that works for both parents.

• Make sure your parenting plan is consistent. This is best for the children.

You'll want to include in your parenting plan how your children will spend each holiday during the year.

• Will the parenting plan holiday schedule stay the same each year or will you alternate major holidays between even and odd years?

• Remember to consider the children in your parenting plan holiday schedule. They should grow up with memories of spending major holidays with both parents.

• Many parents choose to alternate major holiday's. Other parents are satisfied with one parent changing the date of the celebration.

Include special occasions in your parenting plan.

• Mother's Day

• Father's Day

• Birthdays

Your parenting plan should include school vacations.

• Where will the kids spend summer break / winter break / spring break?

• Include how the children will get from one home to the other in your parenting plan.

• Your parenting plan can also cover school holidays that take place on Mondays or Fridays.

Other things to consider in your parenting plan.

• How will you handle occasional changes to the schedule? Can you reschedule?

• Can the kids phone or email the other parent at any time?

• Who has the authority to make day-to-day decisions?

• Will one parent be responsible for major decision making, or will both be involved?

• If either of you has to hire a babysitter, will the other parent have the option of filling in for you?

• How often the parenting plan will be reviewed and updated if needed.

• What happens if if either parent relocates? (Often parenting plans will be rewritten if either parent moves a certain distance away.)

• How will you handle contact with grandparents and other extended family members?

• How should communications between parents be handled. (some parents deal with each other via email or phone rather than face to face.)

• Remember to build in some flexibility. Your children will have school plays, sleepovers and other unexpected events that can cause havoc if not included in the parenting plan. Prepare for them in advance.

These are the most common items in a parenting plan. Your parenting plan can be as simple or as complex as needed, but the above items should be included in all parenting plans.

We offer a sample parenting plan in our advanced parenting class. You can also find sample parenting plans on the internet. One plan that we like is from the 3rd Judicial Court of Idaho.

Impact of Divorce on Children